Tuesday, September 14, 2010


In the last 2 years, the numb patch of skin on my leg (which lead to being diagnosed with MS) has set off a scientific treasure hunt of every doctor within a 50 mile radius.

What they are currently drugging me for/ treating me for today:
* MS- I now have 36 holes in my brain and spinal cord, all over 55 mm in size.
* Grave's Disease/ Hyperthyroid (which we knew about 10 yrs ago. 6 yr ago we killed my thyroid, but the MS meds have created a zombie thyroid that has come back o life to take over the world.
* 4 broken bones in my spine- 2 of which were from me falling a whole 8 inches (7 months ago), the other 2 are from meds/ physical therapy used to treat the first 2.
* Degenerative Disc and Degenerative Joint Disease
* Osteoarthritis
* Optic Neuritis
* Neurogenic Bladder (my brain no longer tells my bladder how to empty.
* Bipolar Disorder/ Depression/ Anxiety (well, duh, ya think I might be a little depressed?)
* Chronic Fatigue
* Insomnia (yes, I have both)
* Torn Hip Flexor/ Bursitis
* Pinched Sciatic Nerve
And I am sure there are more dx's to add to the list that I may have forgotten... did I mention I have MS and holes in the brain, so I tend to forget things?

And in 2 years time: the countless doctors, nurses, the over 100 doctors appointments, the 30 trips into the MRI machine, God only knows how many needles and blown veins (I would guess this to be around 80 veins, and more needles), and over $200,000 billed to my insurance company... and all of my doctors, specialists, nurses, surgeons, radiology techs, IV Therapy team, at home care... they have all worked so diligently in the last 2 years to...? You tell me. They have been unable to fix the first damn thing! Not a single thing on that list.

They have medicated me, infused me, shot me full of drugs, convinced me to shoot myself with needles, my current pill count is 22 a day plus a monthly infusion... ha and I am still in pain, and I am still broken. I have tried acupuncture, chiropractic (which was helping for pain but I have 4 broken bones in my spine and he cannot touch me), dieting, physical therapy, praying to whichever God would listen, everything short of voodoo and believe me, if I thought it would work, I would try it. I have been banned from: bending, lifting, working, drinking, going outside when it is hot, standing, walking, they tried to ban me from sex! They are working so hard to save my life but they have not realized that I no longer have one.

At this point, I wish to take this list and attach a reward. The first doctor who can fix one thing... I don't care if it is the back, the thyroid, the bladder, or whatever. But it has to be one of the things on this list... so let's start a collection for the reward. You guys want money? Body parts? I will give you a kidney and two ovaries full of eggs that I am not using! Anything you want. JUST FIX SOMETHING!! I have lost all faith in the medical community at this point. Or maybe it is just Virginia Doctors and I need to move?

So, I am scheduled to go in Thursday for cortisone injections in my hip. I am not wagering any money on whether it works or not. I am curious to see if this doctor can do what no man has done before, or if he will be your typical doc who fixes nothing and finds something else wrong with you. I am trying to be hopeful, but this is the same doc who sent me to the surgeon about my back. I set myself up for a huge disappointment with that one. Bouncing off of the walls excited that I would be getting the surgery and it would make the pain in my back ease up some, only to have those dreams crushed and being sent home in tears.

Yes, I have become angry, and bitter, and frustrated. I will not apologize for this. I have been playing lab rat for 2 years and it sucks. Oh and that is not the whole list of what they have found in the last 2 years, this is just the list of things that decided to "treat".